I don’t know, it could be because I have not yet adjusted suitably to my new routine, staying up most of the night and sleeping through the day. I love sunlight, and who wouldn’t during winters? I’d rather personally welcome the sun every day than wake up to see it already high up in the sky, in all its winter glory, forgetting to include me in its’ rays gambolling play. Obviously, the sun cannot gambol, try as it might.
It could be because of the very limited social contact I have these days, which if I do think, I had anticipated, but had not really done much about. I am just so used to being outdoors, and for a person like me too much of indoor air can make me screw up into a tight ball, making me unwilling to peek out, having established myself in an elaborate comfort zone where the dress code is pyjamas and sweater.
need some smiles..
It happens to most of us.
Plus a big reason that adds to all the general messiness is usually a little something that has been bugging you for a while now, and what you’ve been stoically preventing yourself from acknowledging to your daily self. It nudges at you from the shadows, whispers to you from the silent-except-for-birds-chirping air around you, tugs at your heart sleeves through an innocuous line someone just said to you in passing.
You still will give it what it deserves. Should, in fact.
Deal with it. Move on to what you deserve. That is the only way. Its called growth you see?
A facade may be all that you see of me
The laughter beneath that smile
the suppressed exuberance..
The plea beneath the apology
the subdued prayers..
I exist nevertheless
And now I have discovered
a winter that was warm and sunny
a year that seemed like a lifetime
what it feels like to walk in a dream-like haze
how we all are adorable packages of mistakes, slightly creased and hugely precious
how it’s like to finally be able to fall in love with myself
For even though our stories, yours and mine, may diverge to enter new and more exciting chapters
our chapter will lie in my heart undisturbed,
encased in mellow stardust
The front garden of my uncle and aunt’s place in western Uttar Pradesh, India, lit by the soothing and much welcome November winter sun. My first visit there and as a family our first long drive out of the main city ever.
Outside the South Campus library, posing amidst the foliage of the Aravalli outcrop, way back in time.. well, over two years ago.. such beautiful days they were!
Among my persistent fixations has been with anything remotely concerned with books. Add to that parchment, thick paper, coloured paper, notebooks, board pins, pencil sharpeners, pens, envelopes and beautiful stationery of all kinds and I can go into prolonged periods of hibernation with very limited need for human contact.
When I was a child I had a desk drawer at home which I kept full of bits and pieces of paper – torn shreds, magazine cutouts, newspaper snippings – of the wackiest shapes and dimensions. My mother used to regularly raid my stuff to throw out all the litter that sometimes threatened to nullify all the efforts she made to maintain a semblance of domestic neatness and propriety. I was least bothered, however. The more the clutter, the happier I used to be. And now that I am eons away from that 6 year old self of mine, I have managed to evolve a way to make clutter look classy. Oh, but that still hasn’t stopped my Ma from binning my stuff behind my back.